A few months ago, I stumbled upon a new book called Why Greatness Cannot Be Planned, written by scientists from OpenAI, no less. At the time, ChatGPT was taking the internet by storm. Curious, I found the Chinese edition on WeChat Read, intending to flip through a few pages before bed. Two pages in, I was stunned by the depth of its insights – how could such a book exist?

The Limits of Goal-Oriented Thinking

The book opens with several examples illustrating a core argument: obsessing over goals can cause you to miss the truly good things. Imagine a meticulously planned road trip derailed by a breakdown. If all you care about is “when will the car be fixed” and “can we still make it on time,” the whole journey is doomed to frustration. Better to take a breath, appreciate the scenery, and treat the detour as a unique chapter in your life.

This reminded me of a conversation in The Three-Body Problem between General Chang Weisi and Wang Miao:

All of human history has been a series of lucky breaks – from the Stone Age to the present without any major catastrophe. But since it’s been luck, it has to run out someday. Now I’m telling you: it’s run out. Prepare yourself.

Indeed, every plan risks being upended by the unexpected, and outcomes rarely match intentions. This echoes the Buddhist concept of “following conditions” – not indifference, but composure in the face of change and the wisdom to move with the current.

Thinking about this, I recalled how every time my wife and I eat out and the food disappoints, I complain the whole meal: “This is terrible, I could make better at home.” She’d smile quietly until she couldn’t hold back: “If you’d just focus on the meal in front of you, it wouldn’t taste so bad. Think about how it feels when you’re truly hungry – would you still be complaining?” She’s right. Not everything goes according to plan. Or as the cliche goes – be present. Turns out my wife has been the real sage all along.

Stepping Stones

The book introduces a fascinating concept – “stepping stones.” In the process of exploration and innovation, these are the discoveries, ideas, or achievements that seem unrelated to the ultimate goal. They may look insignificant at the time, yet they turn out to be crucial steps toward something far greater. In Chinese, we have an idiom: “Casually planted willows grow into shade.” But in this book, stepping stones aren’t just about the “casual” part – they emphasize the “willows” themselves. I believe stepping stones are the essential waypoints on the road to success.

We often hear that “choices matter more than effort.” I’ve always been skeptical. This usually comes across as sour grapes – using lucky breaks to dismiss someone else’s hard work. So are good choices purely luck? I don’t think so. Behind every choice lies a series of trade-offs. Without giving something up, you gain nothing. We tend to see only what others gained while ignoring what they sacrificed.

From childhood to adulthood, every choice is a decision, and on the path to the life you want, certain stepping stones are obvious:

  • Birth: The family you’re born into, your parents’ social standing and worldview set a rough boundary for the next generation’s life. This is hard to transcend.
  • University: Which school you attend, which major you choose – these add certainty to your future. Even in today’s brutal job market, a top university carries real advantages. Like the book says about stepping stones, it may not directly relate to the goal (finding a job), but viewed across an entire life, the impact runs deep.
  • Career: As the old saying goes, a man fears entering the wrong profession. Choosing an industry is paramount. When friends ask me for job advice, my priority ranking is always: industry > company > department > team. In our culture, there’s a concept of “riding the momentum.” Choosing an industry means riding its growth trend toward your own goals. “Even a pig can fly if it catches the right wind.” Most of us aren’t prodigies. As ordinary people, if we can read the trend, life gets considerably smoother.
  • Marriage: In ancient times, nations intermarried for alliances; clans formed unions for strategic advantage. Today, marrying well still paves the road ahead. Nail this stepping stone, and everything after gets easier. There’s a reason people joke that marrying the right spouse saves you decades of hustle.

Through stepping stones, I seem to have grasped a deeper layer of meaning. Everyone’s life path is not fixed. This brings us to something a bit mystical – fortune-telling. Since ancient times, people have spoken of “defying fate.” Sounds unscientific, but I think there’s a kernel of truth, even if TV dramas exaggerate it absurdly. My view: life is like a game with multiple paths to completion, and the optimal path was designed in from the start. The essential waypoints on that optimal path are the stepping stones I’ve been describing. Beyond the obvious ones listed above, how do we find the other stepping stones to success?

Where the Heart Leads, the Truth Follows

The reason this book kept me up at night wasn’t because it’s about OpenAI, artificial intelligence, or some novel search algorithm. What truly captivated me were two things. First, many of its ideas align perfectly with my wife’s philosophy of life. Just like our restaurant conversation – ostensibly about food, but really about a mindset of focusing on the present, undistracted. As the ancient saying goes: “The world has no troubles; only the restless mind creates them. Understand all things, and life finds its happiness.” Each person’s direction is the ground beneath their own feet. Every stone we step on might be a stepping stone to the future – most people just never notice. Second, the book reinforced a belief I’ve held for a long time – where the heart leads, the truth follows.

Deep within each of us lies a path that guides us forward. This path isn’t merely a trajectory of action; it’s a compass for understanding the world, knowing oneself, and pursuing truth. When we heed the sincere call of our hearts, every decision and action naturally aligns with a deeper truth and wisdom. This isn’t just the process of self-actualization – it’s also how we live in harmony with the world. On this path, we must learn to listen to our inner voice and understand our true needs and desires, because therein lies life’s most authentic wisdom and answers. As Steve Jobs said:

Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.

That’s why, whenever I face a major decision, I always ask myself one question: “What do I truly want?” Clarify that, and you’ve not only planted your foot firmly on a stepping stone to success – you’ve also spotted where the next one lies.